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Storytime with Joey Kyne

Joey Kyne chatting with friends

Camas High School (CHS) senior Joseph Kyne is renowned amongst his calculus class for having bizarre and hilarious stories, which mesh perfectly with his easy-going personality. Here are some of his favorites:

Just recently, Kyne and one of his friends were allegedly photographing wild birds near a fish hatchery when a small misunderstanding occurred.

“Elijah was taking pictures of this wood duck, right? And this lady thinks he’s taking pictures of her. And so the whole thing goes bad,” Kyne said.

The wood ducks (photo courtesy of Joey Kyne)

The woman proceeded towards Kyne and his friend and demanded to see the camera and delete the pictures.

“He said ‘I wasn’t taking pictures of you, man, I’m just taking pictures of this wood duck over here’ and he pointed to it,” Kyne said.

The woman cared surprisingly little about the wood duck as she made sure that the camera was thoroughly submerged in the lake nearby.

“Then, when I showed her that I was also taking pictures of the duck she finally believed me and stormed off,” Kyne said.

Kyne interpreted this as embarrassment, but we are yet to hear back from the woman herself.

In a separate story, Kyne talks about a recent time when an underclassman fell victim to a private limbo lesson.

“I was teaching Nyima [Namru] how to limbo, and there was a kid running down the hallway at full speed. Nyima ended up tripping over my feet. I don’t know how but Nyima pulled this kid’s pants down with his face. This kid looked totally defeated,” Kyne said.

The victim, embarrassed, fled after this happened. 

“We’re a junior and a senior, so this kid looked at us in fear like they just got pantsed on purpose,” Kyne said.

Namru immediately started chasing after with the intent to apologize. The unidentified student’s gratitude for this method of apology was evident in their tears.

Joey Kyne

In yet another tale, Kyne mentioned a friend of his, Ethan Lu, who has some strong feelings towards the popular video game “Brawl Stars.”

“I’m driving home with Ethan Lu. He’s obsessed with “Brawl Stars.” He’s in the passenger seat with the windows rolled down. He lost to another player who jumped him, and threw his phone out of the window without looking,” Kyne said.

Needless to say, the trajectory of the phone was somewhat impeded as it hit a lady walking by. While the initial concern was how Lu would acquire a new phone, in the heat of his blinding rage, Lu had neglected to turn off the phone he discarded.

The lady was vengeful.

“The lady ended up calling Ethan’s mom, so when he got home he got a huge talking to. It was brutal,” Kyne said.

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Ephram Kukartsev
Ephram Kukartsev, Staff Writer

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