This story is a work of parody. Nothing written is factually correct. All persons mentioned gave permission for their names to be used and were shared a copy of this story to read and approve. 

It was a normal day in Camas, Washington. Cross-country kids were frolicking along the Round Lake trail, angry drivers were cussing each other out at the Evergreen roundabout, and local citizen Dave Donaldson was quenching his daily thirst with the Lacamas Lake water. 

“I like the way it feels on my little bitty tongue,” said Donaldson. 

Armed with nothing but a soup ladle, the soundtrack to the 2012 smash hit mobile game Subway Surfers, and a thirst for green water, Dave was determined to drink some of that good ol’ algae-infested lake juice. 

But, things went awry when a bearded, bespectacled figure appeared from the shadows. Determined to achieve his ultimate goal of making every Dave in Camas turn green, Stewart Morgan stomped over to the poor, innocent Dave Donaldson and shoved him into the lake with two tons of brutal force. 

Dave panicked. Flailing his arms around in the silliest of fashions, he tried desperately to come to the surface. It took a second, but Dave eventually made his way back to the surface. He breathed a sigh of relief. But this relief was quite short-lived indeed.

“I thought, whoopee! I’m alive! Then I noticed somethin’ wrong,” said Donaldson. 

All of a sudden, Donaldson began experiencing alarming symptoms; light-headedness, nausea, and most importantly, floating. David was floating, and he didn’t know why! He didn’t know what to do! He couldn’t fight it anymore. David was floating, and he couldn’t come down. All seemed lost until a familiar bespectacled face resurged from the shadows; Stewart Morgan. 

Dave saw only a glimpse of a glasses lens, but that was enough to make him shake in his tiny little boots. Filled with fear, Dave made a sudden, heroic move; he flew! David was flying! And boy, was it a sight to be seen. Even Mr. Morgan was impressed!

“I too was impressed. I saw David Donaldson initiate flight and I was so utterly enthused that I let out a little tiny chuckle,” said Luke Orlando. 

Dave continued flying, and Stewart continued watching. Determined to escape the shadowy, bespectacled figure, Dave kept on flying until he could see Lacamas Lake no longer. DAVID WAS FREE!!! FINALLY FREE!! But David kept one thing from this experience: a grudge.

“This is the origin story of Dave Donaldson, the leader of the David Army. We Davids fight for peace, tranquility, and most importantly, the banishment of all Stewarts to the fiery depths of the band hallway. Dave Donaldson may be dead, but his cause lives on. LONG LIVE THE DAVIDS!!!” said David Orlando.