Sometimes I end up hanging out with a friend’s friends, and no matter how much I try to talk and fit in, I just end up standing there awkwardly. I’m rarely brought into the conversation. What should I do when I don’t feel like I do or can fit in?

Dear Anonymous,

Okay, you’re definitely overthinking. I can almost guarantee your friend isn’t intentionally leaving you out, so try your best not to feel awkward. To be honest, the person you don’t know is probably feeling just as awkward, so try to level with them. Act confidently, even if it’s not sincere, and put out good energy. Confidence is key: fake it until you make it. Find things you have in common, and if there’s nothing, find things to have a playful debate about. There are so many different strategies to get to know someone, so don’t wait to be invited in. You don’t need to “fit in”; just make yourself comfortable. Treat everyone as if you’ve known them for a while; it’s not awkward unless you make it awkward. At the end of the day, we’re all just people. There’s no need to be intimidated. I’m pretty sure a global pandemic and a year of isolation aren’t exactly helpful, so just be sure to remember that everyone is relearning the social scene. Everyone is awkward, some people are just better at hiding it. Don’t feel insecure, but don’t feel pressured to get along with everyone either. If you don’t mix well with someone, you don’t. I know it’s cliche, but honestly just be yourself and you will be fine. There’s nothing wrong with a little awkwardness, it’s not the end of the world. Don’t stress over things you can’t control, and don’t feel obligated to be everyone’s friend. You know who your crowd is, so don’t feel like you have to fit in with everyone. Sticking to your comfort zone isn’t cowardly, it’s natural. Overall, my advice is just to stop caring so much. I know it sounds hard, but it’s not. Just think about how much that person’s opinion really matters to you. At the end of the day, who cares if they like you or not? What matters is how you handle things and how you present yourself to others. Who do you want to be?

Sincerely, 

A Student

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